jaimie44

//& some of the easiest habbits* are the hardest ones to break This is no great illusion When I'm with you I'm looking for a ghost Or invisible reasons To fall out of love and run screaming from our home Because we live in a house of mirrors We see our fears and everything Our songs, faces, and second hand clothes But more and more we're suffering Not nobody, not a thousand beers Will keep us from feeling so all alone But you are what you love And not what loves you back That's why I'm here on your doorstep Pleading for you to take me back The phone is a fine invention It allows me to talk endlessly to you About nothing disguising my intentions Which I'm afraid, my friend, are wildly untrue It's a sleight of hand, a white soul band The heart attacks I'm convinced I have Every morning upon waking To you I'm a symbol or a monument Your rite of passage to fufillment But I'm not yours for the taking But you are what you love And not what loves you back So I guess that's why you keep calling me back I'm fraudulent, a thief at best A coward who paints a bullshit canvas Things that will never happen to me But at arms length, it's Tim who said I'm good at it, I've mastered it Avoiding, avoiding everything But you are what you love, Tim And not what loves you back And I'm in love with illusions So saw me in half I'm in love with tricks So pull another rabbit out of your hat i shouldn't get mad at how people want to convey themselves. i shouldn't get mad at how people want to convey themselves. i shouldn't get mad at how people want to convey themselves. okay. because, everyone has their own unique ways of getting through each day as unharmed as possible express yourself express yourself express yourself because my god no one else can do it the same as you. so now i will BORE tell you ... i'm either jay-me, jme, jaimie, or jamie.. its doesn't matter to me but if you're wondering the right spelling is jaimie i live in markham which is a pretty sweet town i like and dislike many things but since i may dislike something that you disagree with i'm not going to list out those things because that would cause unwanted drama but here's some things i do like... <3 Things I Like =) .pasta .sleep .elephants .green .the number twenty-two .bean bag chairs .pizza .sweat pants .toys r us .art .root beer .gum .cinnabon .garlic bread .hair clips .chronicles of narnia .wakeboarding .bubble wrap .smart carss .mr noodles .photo albums .science .johnny depp .snowboarding .snow .ice cream cake .my nephew .the stars .harry potter .livejournal .old-school nintendo .MUSIC .prank calls .caesar salad .boys .pylons .arthur .tubing .accents .sushi .icons .camping .packman .eeyore .flowers .strawberries .animals .aliens .smirnoff .water slides .watching hockey .raspberries .pillows .myrtle beach! .eyes .love .kelsis .mr bean .the moon .girls night .burnt marshmellows .silver .headphones .margaritas .poetry .kiwis .easter eggs .war movies .ice cubes .necklaces .duck hunt .summer photoshoots .prank calls .party packagers .polka dots .mini cooper .outer space .dominos .mr.bean .new york .space .action movies .quotes .rock climbing .cottage .my SAWEET friends .my family <3 click here for my livejournal<3 on christmas morning. ,outside it was pouring* G I R L Z

Megan
holy crap megan ive been friends with u for such a long time! ur my one and only PPP and i will never forget all the good times we've had throughout the years and our mad conversations about everything, like in the parking lot of mdhs that night, love you so much

Amber
yo whatsup ambaa.... i love u so much (from the brother beater)!! dirty dancing havana nites is a great memory with you =P! well i just LOVED our scream-athon, i mean how can u not like when she says "STUPIDITY LEAK!" and hits the guy in the head, man we gotta do that some time.. we need to hang out more!! <3

Alyssa
C-BIRD! lol sooo many great times...Quebec in the good restaurant (the buffet one), morris and his stupid plan on fat ppl saving trees which will save the world or sumthing? how bout the night after jon's when i dropped all the water bottles haha.. so many good times, i love youuu!

Leila
so many hilarious memories already with you even though we just started hanging out. i love our crazy deep conversations and the situations we get ourselves into. <3

Sheri
o my golly too many great times, she thinks shes all that and a bag of potato chips, can u spell blak? i love you to death

Emma
o jeeeeez, weve known eachother for so long my dear. wayyy too many good times to mention but i love you to death <3

Melissa
mel i love you so dammn much lol u are the coolest kid ive ever met and you make me laugh, most of all with YOUR laugh =P. i love all the amazing times we've had. heart heart and another heart.

Becca
becca becca becca, where to start, i love you and ur amazing shirts you make and ur amazing short hair at the moment, and ur amazing personality lol. u are the best! much love

Katie
so much fun at the cottage and buffalo and everywhere over the years! we need to hang out more.+66+-* much lovee.

Cathy
GREAT times on new years with the turbans (shirts) eye liner and pots/pans! never forget all the good times also in buffalo with our amazing skirts! luv yah hun!

Lisa
I LOVE YOU! lesbian sister! haha well i have been friends with you for quite a while and ur the kewlest ever! becca licking the lamp =P all those days of walking home!! love ya so muchh!!

Erika
o god too many things to remember with you. egg-foo-young, sooo many sleepovers and hour long phone calls like every night in grade 8. im happy we still hang out now =)

and i love many more aswell.

---

meg and i at walkerrr <3


COOL KIDS


COOL KIDS AGAIN


thomas poulos' bday


peeps =P


LYSS AND SCOTT AND MEG<3

---

lyss, me and meg


funny sunglasses!


06 cover, emmabeccamel not added yet but i dont have another picture of it


party packagers anyone?


malllll


walking to reesor


at reesor...


convenience, meg lyss becca


everyone on margarita night!


making bracelets now thats off the list


meg and i (im not in it though) making a sand castle in myrtle beach


last night partying in myrtle beach, tear!


Last Summer - The Lost Prophets

the friday sun bears down again
as we drive without friends
and on these longest days we spend
all the time trying to pretend
that our stories could be true
our chance to be cool
the setting sunset says the day is through
if only we knew...
and we all sit around here in our home town
listen to the waves as they all crash down
and watch the fire as it slowly burns away
glowing embers fly across the sky

here by my side, in my summer, our last summer
the world passes by in my summer, our last summer
the light makes shadows fall, surrounded by each other
alive to watch it all, the view from our last summer
the view from our last summer...

we trace the sun across the sky
and we laugh till we cry
always so hard to say goodbye (good bye)
and we all sit round here in our home town
it's so good like this, these are times we'll miss
the memories, i hope they'll never fade
glowing embers lie across the sky

here by my side, in my summer, our last summer
the world passes by in my summer, our last summer
the light makes shadows fall, surrounded by each other
alive to watch it all, the view through our last summer
the view from our last summer...

i would stop time to stay with you
i would stop time so we don't move
i would stop time
i would stop time
i would stop time to keep you

here by my side, in my summer, our last summer
the world passes by in my summer, our last summer
the light makes shadows fall, surrounded by each other
alive to watch it all, the view from our last summer

---

TOBOGANNING! such a random but awesome friday night


new yearss at gavo's =)


another random night at gavin's


some bar on one of the greek islands! best vacation of my life!


delphi, this little statue is supposably the belly button of the world lol


on an acropolis, so beautiful


this is in olympia, it was a pretty cool place


trevi fountain, rome


fire in jaimie's backyard! we made many m-shlows


girls at the promm

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G U Y S

Tom
o geez where to start... no i'm not making out with you know who and i'm not whoring myself out for the last time. too many good times! jello (shooters), ur jenga "block", our abuse, just hanging out... good times man =)

Mole
you are the most amusing kid mole, you make me laugh and i love just hanging out with you cuz you and tom always end up doing something crazy or we end up laughing at whatever the fuck toms doing, love yah mole

Rob
so many good memories with u rob! our nights at the park and the music game =) love you soo much!

Matt
so many good times. making me food =) attacking the other girls in the hot tub, u bringing me cheerios when i hardly even knew u... ur just my hero ill leave it at that, your awesome!

Scott
o jeez i dont even no.. ur just a special kid who happens to be pretty cool. ur new sayings everytime i hang out with you make me laugh. funniest memory of you is definitely at booths with the naval rubbing though. love yah scott

Kody
ur my hero kody! so fun chillin with u, poker night at ur house =) you are the best! luv yah!... i cant believe jizm died );
P.S. i cant believe u chickened out of survival the first time cuz of the ants.... <3

Marcus
aljhsrg known you forEVER and too many good times to count. but they are higlighted by: dominos, fundip, swimming, alcohol, movies, etc etc. much love!

Kenz
hey loser havent hung out with u forever but we used to be so close and walk home everyday, so many good reesor memories and markham ones too, miss hanging with u, love yah!

Mike and Jeff
so many good memories, professor plum should die, mr.bean, warheads, ball fights with chris and rob... good memories ill never forget! love you both!

and so many others that i love too <3

---

makes me mad that i couldn't let that happen at the moment
ill have to preoccupy that one

its so hard letting anybody in
to this heart of mine
because each time i give an inch
a mile follows soon after
and it shouldn't be that way
every time i give in
i always have to take
so much more back
when i get hurt
im so far from where i used to be
in the past
it hurts to have any doubts
and as time passes i try not to let anybody in
youve broken through my walls
my defenses for these feelings
and given me happiness
that im already trying to cover up
and doubt upon
at this moment in time
why do i keep over-analysing
this situation
that ive gotten myself into

this direction that im going
isnt working too well
i keep giving in
and making excuses
for not questioning you
but i need to work this out
and you need to answer me
because i cant live in this position
for much longer
it takes up too much space
in my already cluttered mind
and the other people need to leave
or i will

-----

in the grass
we rest our feet
as we lean against the fence
for night after night
we'd talk and talk
and never run out of a subject to speak about
with no one else
could i talk about
the things we used to cover
and since then
i haven't found
anyone as remotely perfect
as you
i was able to accept everything about you
turning the imperfections to love
never having to worry about them long
because shortly after
i was swept off my feet once again

this consistent happiness wont last long
for the next thing i know
things will crawl into my mind
and while im waiting for sleep
this calming feeling
will disappear
and angst will slither its way through my brain
making me shake for hours
at the mere thought of you
and your voice will
vibrate my spine
and jolt me out of my
most pleasant dreams
dreams that will flutter away with you
and i will doubt my sheer existence
in the blueprints of an average night

it seems that you're the only one
who can understand how i felt
and not try to comfort me or feel awkward
instead you listened to me talk on and on
and held me close enough to know i had someone
not looking for a quick fix
but giving me time and staying with me through it
you didn't quite understand the loss
but many people don't
and that makes it even more meaningful.
i loved you before
and this grew into undying love
and respect for you
as you gave me enough courage
to carry on back then
now i look back
knowing that ill never forget you
and never stop loving you
as long as i live...
as long as i remember.

i wish all the time that i was back in that hall
with you sweetly greeting me with a kiss on my lips
there you were so perfect in my eyes
before it all fell apart
and i slowly descended down those stairs
to spend my bitter sweet time with you
before it all fell apart
and those were the days that counted

my heart or my mind
which one hurts more
the thoughts of our future
or having too many things on my mind
they weigh eachother down
all branching off in different directions
and this is tearing me apart
i feel it ripping my bones to shreds
i pull myself too hard towards you that i fall on the way
and ill never get over this fall
it will always haunt me

its just sitting there infront of me
i wish you could see
why lying is so meaningful
when it's for no reason at all
silence fills the room and my ears start to ring
but not the ring that i want...
the silence of your lips and your fingertips is killing me slowly
and the vibrations of the room continue

i can't get over the feeling
yet theres so much time
and so many memories
of the unforgettable places
but now i cant get out of this safe place
thats slowly destroying me
and this blood covered heart
that wont stop bleeding
this bullet wound
that i can't stop repeating
why are you so cruel
for no reason at all
and why cant i get you off my mind
there used to be a place where i felt unbeatable
but i cant get there anymore
now that i dont know you
and you dont share my new knowledge
i wish you werent so stubborn

all that used to be clear has fogged over
you've taught me so much about losing control
and taught me so much about confusing myself
that i don't understand my own feelings
enough to act on what im thinking
so now i question everything and always do whats wrong
i think too little and too much at the same time
and what you've taught me is that life goes on
even when you're not here with me

-----

i am a rose
you are my thorns
you're my weakness and I know it
you hurt me everytime I touch you because I know i can't again
the taste of your lips is sweet
but then again your a prick

-----

and when the beauty overwhelms us
i think of how whatever i see has beauty
the wrinkles on her face are beautiful
they tell me that she's gone through much of her life
and is still here to pass on her knowledge and all that she's been through
the floor of their house was beautiful
with its scratches, old toys, dog hair and dust
it reminded me of the children that had long since departed
how they grew up, learning and laughing
and the many times that i had experienced it
every frame in this world is beautiful
if you take the time to appreciate it

how am i to know
when you walk on through that door
if your just another being
or if you could be him
because i see a thousand faces
in all but one week
any of which could be you
or simply faces blending together
to make the population of our town
but how am i to know you?

speed up my mind
slow down time
i wish there was another way
for me to get like this
instead of throughing my heart away
and this is only where is starts

-----

pull me back to earth
everytime something like this happens
but never could stay this way
for as much time as i want
because its too real to feel
as much as youd ever want to
and youre always going to disappear
because every feeling eventually dies
and all the people will die too

and i walk by the collection of marble slabs
falling over slowly and weathering
i wish that i didnt know anyone there
i wish that i could be reminded in a more plesant way
such as smiling pictures or home videos
i wish that you were standing there
instead of those colourful flowers that remind me of the spirit you used to have

lost in thought,
about something that won't matter in a week.
you chase away those thoughts,
because I realize they don't matter.
what matters is that I keep my head up high like yours always was,
you never let anyone treat you as if you were different.
for that reason I will never give in,
no matter what gets in my way.
i dream of having your pride,
determination,
and strength,
and I will never give up...

---

---

freedom. well that's just some people talking. your prison is walking through this world all alone.



you realize the sun doesn't go down, it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round.



august evenings bring solemn warnings to remember, to kiss the ones you love goodnight.



i can see it in your eyes you mean all of what you say. i remember so long ago, see i felt that same way.



i'm looking down now that it's over reflecting on all of my mistakes.



the realization of being alone and being happy with it.

---

*the hard wooden steps..
just weren't of my liking \[

,:but your kisses made up for<~>

that minor discomfort

:,HISTORY tor/ments the BEST of us#.]
"but the future WAITS for our growing depression.&2

click here and sign up to make poverty history <3

---

L o v e Q u o t e s

We're feeling so much but there's only silence.

When sorrow leaves me wilted as a sun-parched rose,
your comfort is a river that flows and flows.
The sun's light, the morning dew,
they are all the beauty that is you.

You held my hand, became my friend,
earned my trust and my future once again looked bright.

"I'm talking about fate here - when feelings are so powerful it's as if some force beyond your control is guiding you to someone who can make you happy beyond your wildest dreams."

Harsh cold winters,
wet springs, blissful summer heat, and the fall of time,
They'll weather my spirit,
with grace and peace, your hand in mine.

I`m giving up on loving you
I cant take the pain you`ve put me through
Deep down I know the feelings are always there
Maybe someday you will care
Our time apart has made me realize
There is no second chance
I almost had you back one time
But of course, you changed your mind
We never talk anymore
It hurts to know you`ve shut me out
Now i know what love is all about
You`re happy then u cry and cry
Where there was truth becomes all lies
All in all it never ends for good
But then again, who thought it would?

---

---

M e a n i n g f u l Q u o t e s

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

The walls that we built around ourselves to keep out the grief also keep out the joy.

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome...

Sadness flies away on the wings of time.

"Don’t be ashamed to cry, let me see you through, cuz I've seen the dark side too, when the night falls on you and you don't know what to do, nothing you confess could make me love you less... I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you"

"Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about."

"You've changed so much. I guess that's what happens. I wish you knew how much you changed me. I wonder if I changed you, if your life is different because of me. Because mine's different. My god, you taught me so much, and now we don't even talk to each other. I guess that's what happens."

"No one can go though life’s path without feeling tired, like they can’t take one more step further. When this happens the ones that truly care about you will pick you up and carry you."

"Don't just listen to what someone is saying. Listen to why they are saying it"

"Sometimes when we can’t live without someone we are afraid trying to get closer will pull us farther apart"

"Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it."

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

---

In Loving Memory

*Chris Stephenson <3...

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
And I'll come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still

And what you did you did with feeling
And You always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

In Loving Memory - Alter Bridge

---

---

She can't fall for you if you aren't
there to catch her<3

Sometimes you meet somebody
& you know that whatever you did before must have been right...

Cuz nothing you've done could have been too bad or have gone too far wrong
cuz it led you to this one person <3

The hardest thing about growing up,
is that you have to do what's best for you

Even if it means breaking sumones heart...
including your own

She could shut out the whole world, including herself

Lonely and confused

Abandoned & used..x|3

---

good .bye












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